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When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, “1-2-3!”Immediately, he was the manliest of men.His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, “What was the 1-2-3 for?”And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with dangling participle.I can tell if someone is lying just by looking at them. I can also tell if they’re standing.My grandma is in her 90’s and she still doesn’t need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle.What type of doctor is Dr. Pepper? A FIZZ-ician. (Okay, I will stop now.)????????????Smokeyjoe34 contributions, many thanks:An army unit was going to engage in war games, they were divided into two groups, the red team and the blue team. As they were handing out weapons, they found they when short of guns, so they gave the last man a stick and told him to pretend it was a rifle.“Er, O.K.” He said, “what am I supposed to do with this,”“Well” said the officer, “just. "Jimmy, I've asked myself that same question at least once a month for over 35 years. Sometimes, when I was feeling very low about my life, the answer was yes, that I wished I'd never met him. If I didn't ever know how much I could love someone it would have been a lot easier to love your father. I was convinced during those times that my life would have been better just with that one thing. Jimmy, I've often thought that your dad's life and your life and Phil's would have been better then too. Your dad changed a lot when he gave up on loving me after he was sure that I would never grow to love him. He'd been pretty much a happy man up until then. Most of the time though, the great majority really, I remember my excitement, the raw power of my feelings, I was so alive, all of my senses were heightened when he was around me. I can remember specific times when we were together, as clear if it had been yesterday. I remember being so full of the joy of simply having him touch me, of him.
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